


As if you had a choice

by TittySprinkles



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), dan and phil
Genre: Blood, Concussions, Demons, Gen, Horror, Post-Concussion Syndrome, Religious Dan Howell, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Stigmata, TBI, eventually?, phil is unlucky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2018-10-28 22:56:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10841193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TittySprinkles/pseuds/TittySprinkles
Summary: Dan and Phil have recently moved, they're getting things together, things seem to be going well. That is, until they find out something about the house that they moved into that will flip their world upside down.Will their friendship survive the ultimate test of courage, willpower, and trust?And more importantly, will they?





	1. TBI for lunch, Stigmatism for dinner

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is kind of weird and not that scary but things will make more sense soon!

Dan sat in his usual sofa crease in his usual browsing position, as usual, for his usual day. It was about four P.M. The view outside the window in the TV snug was obscured by the closed blinds, but Dan could still tell about how bright it was outside. Which wasn’t very, because it had been raining all day. The sounds of the water against the outside world was soothing in it’s usual way.

Unbeknownst to Dan, there was something going on upstairs that was definitely not usual. There was a loud-ish, muffled sounding thud coming from the level above. Dan, now roused from his idle browsing, looked up to the ceiling, waiting for something else to happen.

“Phil?” No answer.

“Phil? Are you okay?” Still no answer. Dan huffed out a displeased groan as he set his laptop to the side and heaved himself to his feet. He popped his spine in concerned preparation for what he was about to investigate. He made his way up the stairs. Turning into Phil’s room, Dan noticed that the door was wide open, and the covers were ripped from the bed. He didn’t see Phil until he turned to look at the wall adjacent to the door. Phil was laying on his back, unconscious, the bedcovers were still partially under him. Dan was deeply confused, but he was quickly shifted into gear when Phil shifted a little, and promptly vomited. 

Dan, without any further investigation inferred that Phil had concussed himself. The baffling question of how, had to wait until later, because right now he had to phone the ambulance. After dialing 999, explaining the situation and such, he had Phil propped up against the wall, still unconscious, and was cleaning Phil up with a damp washcloth. Dan cringed momentarily at the thought of having to clean the carpet later, but his main focus was on Phil, who stirred.

“Phil? Come on…” Dan was crouched in front of Phil, lightly patting his cheek to wake him up. Phil’s eyes only opened up halfway, looking past Dan rather than at him. 

Phil just groaned and screwed his eyes shut tight. 

“Owwwww, oww, euhhh,” Phil’s head lolled to the side again and it looked like he was going to fall asleep. Wasn’t there something Dan read about concussed people having to stay awake or something? Dan nudged Phil’s face again. 

“Phil, come on you have to stay awake.” Phil’s eyes opened minimally. He responded with a pained sound, slightly reminiscent of a child not getting their way. He looked like he was going to cry. He twisted up his face into the usual one of pained desperation. “Come on, Phil, stay awake.”

“Owwwwwwww,” Dan truly felt bad at this point. He felt helpless. That didn’t last for long because there was a knock on the door. Dan practically sprinted down the stairs, and opened it to two EMT’s asking where, when, how. Dan did his best to answer, with the little information he had. The rest passed by in a blur. They went up following dan with a stretcher, one giving Phil a quick check over, and telling the other to go and get the neck brace. Dan stood and sweat. The other came up, they both hauled Phil onto the stretcher, secured the neck brace and all three walking people made their way down the stairs and to the door. Dan rode in the back of the ambulance, watching the people try to keep him awake. 

By the time they got to the A&E, Phil was having a slightly easier time staying awake, and the both of them were checked in as visitor and patient respectively. The staff let Dan into the examination room while Phil was getting a triage so they could ask him questions. Dan told them yes, he lost consciousness, and that he thinks he was hit on the left temple. He wasn’t able to explain how it happened. He watched as Phil was told to walk in a straight line, stumbling and swerving so much that he had to be assisted back to the table. He was asked to touch his fingers with his other fingers, flip his hand over one hand, and touch his nose. He did the first two slowly and shakily, and almost poked himself in the eye. 

Dan watched intently as Phil was asked to remember the words green, carrot, robin, and racket. His eyes squinted in the bright lights and he flinched when anyone spoke. They asked him about how he felt about light and sound. Dan thought they should have been able to tell. Then they asked him the year, date, and who the prime minister was, and he got all of them right. His speech was slow and slurred. He stuttered a little too. He forgot all of the words but green.

The doctor concluded that Phil needed an MRI to check for a small brain bleed, which he suspected he had, and that he did indeed have a concussion and whiplash. Dan bristled. The doctor attempted to reassure him. They were both told that Phil needed to be put on brain rest, which meant no reading, no internet, and maybe light TV. Phil pouted. Phil was reminded to eat lots of protein and drink lots of water. Dan gave the doctor Phil’s phone number so that they could schedule the MRI. 

After another hour of observation until Phil was ready to be let go, Dan called a cab so they could go to Asda for ibuprofen, and then home where Dan would have to watch Phil do nothing to make sure he didn’t hurt himself. 

After getting the ibuprofen, Phil practically begged to have at it immediately but Dan didn’t let him until they got home. Dan needed to assist Phil everywhere they went, because he just couldn’t walk steadily, especially without holding onto something. Dan’s heart ached with sympathy, he hated seeing Phil in such a confused and pained state. As soon as they got home, Dan poured a glass of water for Phil and provided two ibuprofen pills. Phil swallowed the pills and the entire glass of water. It was now 6 p.m.

“Are you hungry?” Phil shook his head.

“I feel a little nauseous.” Phil said quietly. Dan had to admit that it was a little creepy. Not because he whispered, but because he whispered in the dark lounge, because he insisted on keeping the lights off. Dan was afraid of the dark, but he couldn’t not accommodate his friend. 

“I’m going to make some rice for now, I’m hungry. I’ll save some for you in case you get hungry later.” Dan said quietly. He planned on making something else eventually, but thought that rice would be easier on a sensitive stomach. 

“Thank you.” Phil whispered back. He slowly shifted into a lying down position on the couch, the doctor said that Phil could sleep as long as Dan woke him up every few hours or so. 

Dan made sure not to walk too loudly to the kitchen, using the balls of his feet to bounce from step to step. Everything rice related was going fine, water was boiling, rice poured in, now just a little stir. Surely the simple act of cooking this rice, stirring this rice, would calm Dan from the hectic day. Right?

Wrong. 

As Dan was properly gripping the metal spoon handle in one hand, and the pot handle in the other, the stove went crazy for a second of insanity and the fire flared up, causing the metal to heat up and burn both of Dan’s hands before he could flinch. Which is what he did right after. And he definitely did not scream in terror, which definitely did not wake Phil up. 

Dan heard uneven footsteps to the kitchen doorway, until Phil was stood there over Dan who was on the floor, while holding onto the counter for balance. 

“Are you okay?” Phil asked.

“I’m sorry!”

“No, don’t be sorry. What happened?” Phil’s speech was still stumbly and slurred, but understandable.

“Burned my hands.”

“How?” 

“The fucking stove went crazy, I dunno it was weird.” Dan was gasping.

“Let me see.” Phil took Dan’s hands in his own, palm up. The sides of Dan’s hands were red and irritated looking, but the middles of the palms were red, raw, bleeding. They almost took the shape of circles. They both stared in awe and disbelief. 

“Let’s… Get this cleaned up.” Phil broke the silence, Dan nodded, and turned the stove on low and covered the pot cautiously before running his hands under cool water. 

“What are you cooking?” Asked phil.

“Um, rice. I told you before I went up.”

“Oh, right.” Dan could see on Phil’s face that he didn’t really recollect it, but he didn’t say anything. He was trying to keep both palms in the stream of water, but it didn’t do anything to help the pain. His breath quickened as the pain impossibly worsened. It felt like the pressure and weight of his entire body was constrained to the palms of his hands. They were bleeding profusely, and didn’t even look like burns anymore. The outer parts of his hands had calmed down significantly, but the middles didn’t. Dan turned the water off and looked. There were two bleeding holes, one on each hand.

“What in the ever loving fuck…” Dan was stricken with awe. “Wait.” He noticed a smell, and sniffed his hands. It was almost… flowery? But neither of the two men were very concerned about that. They were mostly concerned about the copious amount of blood that was now decorating the kitchen floor. Dan didn’t even feel faint.

“Hey Phil, do you think you could help clean this up, oh...” Dan practically wheezed. “Oh!”

Dan burst into tears and fell to his knees. Phil crouched down to his level, seeing what else was wrong. Dan was smiling. He was weeping and smiling and he looked equal parts ecstatic and anxious. 

“What’s going on, what is this, what is this” It was a sob and almost a laugh at the same time. 

“Dan, what’s up with you, what’s going on?” Phil shook him by the shoulders trying to get Dan to snap out of it. Dan smiled brightly at him and took Phil by the shoulders, ruining his shirt with blood.

“It’s the lord, Phil.”


	2. What do you think it could possibly be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way too long to get out but it's here. It'll start coming together and making sense soon promise ^^

“What? What are you talking about?” Phil was incredulous. “I thought you weren’t into that stuff, at least in that way… like at all.” Phil’s brow was creased in disbelief and confusion. 

“Oh phil” Dan said in a tone similar to one a mother would take whilst explaining something to her child. “Of course I didn’t” At least it would be such a tone of voice, if his breathing hadn’t been so laboured. “I don’t need to believe, I don’t need to have believed, because now I know.” 

Phil didn’t even have time to question, didn’t even have time to process, before Dan’s eyes rolled back in his head with a sigh and he just passed out. Great.

***  
Dan was laying on the kitchen floor. Phil was kneeling in front of him. There was an unreasonable amount of blood on the floor, on their clothes, in the sink. None of this felt real. Nothing felt real. Phil felt like he was dreaming, the world gently floating in front of him, incomprehensible. Realistically, he knew that Dan should be woken up, cleaned up, gotten to bed. What did Phil decide to do? Well, Phil decided to address the floor situation.

Phil looked up for a washcloth, and realized he had to stand. He questioned if it was really worth it to move. Heaving himself up with the help of the countertop, he felt fear. Why? Who knows. It didn’t have much to do with Dan lying unconscious on the floor or the blood, because he could only think about one thing at a time. And that was getting a cloth. Wait, he thought, what do I need one for? After about one second he remembered and looked down, and then threw up in the sink because wow, that was a lot of blood. How could he clean all of it?

Phil found a cloth in one of the drawers. Nice. Well, not too nice, the texture was kind of rough. Nevermind that, this floor needed cleaning. Phil ran the cloth under the tap to make it wet, and slowly crouched back down to the floor. Phil, at this point, couldn’t form coherent internal dialogue so he just put the cloth onto the floor, wiped with a circular motion a couple of times. After that, he just kind of squeezed the cloth so that the water would mix with the blood and make cool swirly patterns. It was disgusting. He almost threw up again. 

Phil was just kind of staring at the ground and holding the rag when Dan awoke. It had probably been about five to ten minutes, but to Phil it felt like three seconds and an hour at the same time. Screw it, there was no time and no passage of it because it just wouldn’t register as a thing. It wasn’t a thing. Dan opening his eyes and sitting up was a thing. Phil didn’t stop what he was doing. 

“Phil?”

Phil looked up to Dan slowly after a moment. Phil noticed that Dan was breathing heavily and he was shaking. Honestly, he looked a mess. There were tears drying on his florid face, there was blood drying on his pale amber skin. Dan scooted back to lean against the lower cupboards under the sink. His palms were facing up.

“Phil, what are you doing?”

“I’m cleaning.” It should have been obvious. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to. You should probably get a shower and some rest.” Dan shakingly rose to his feet. He groaned in pain, huffed a few quick breaths, and sighed. His eyes were shut. What he said made sense, but Phil was going to help no matter what. Which meant he had to actually clean the blood on the floor instead of spread it around. There sure was a lot. Dan wasn’t even pale. 

So there both of them were, on a Thursday night, hands and knees on the kitchen floor cleaning up a practically lake sized pool of blood. Phil wasn’t helping that much with the slowness and spacing out, and Dan wasn’t really helping by continuing to bleed everywhere. Eventually though, Dan’s bleeding slowed and the floor was slightly yellow, pretty moist, but mostly clean. Both of the boy's fingers were pruned by the end of it, and after squabbling for a bit on who should shower first, Phil let Dan go so he could dress his wounds.

The rice had been abandoned on the stove. Phil turned off the stove before going upstairs to the lounge to wait for Dan to finish his shower. Phil was still a little more than a little freaked out by the slowly browning and sticky patches on his white shirt. He couldn’t tell if the nausea he felt was because of that or his head injury. What he did know was that the fibres of the couch, well, they sure did feel nice under his fingers. There wasn’t really anything after that. Phil spaced out looking at the wall opposite him and feeling the couch. 

An indiscernible amount of time passed before Dan’s footsteps could be heard on the stairs and then a “Your turn.” Phil jumped a little at the sudden sound, but then processed what Dan said and gave a simple,

“Okay”

***

Dan was tired. But mostly he was scared. He had this overwhelming urge to just keep watch of Phil and never let him out of sight. He did know that Phil was an adult and that he could take care of himself, but when something like a brain injury happens, how independent can someone really be? Phil had always been a pretty much self sufficient and independent person, but Dan had no idea how much that, and anything else really, could change. And what was happening to his hands? Not normal. At all. There was a painful pulsating sensation going halfway up his forearms, but nothing near as bad as it was at first. He’d kind of just accepted that it was just going to be that way for a while, but one thing was for sure. These definitely were not burns. 

Dan decided that he would relax in his room for a while, at least try, considering. But there he was, laying in his bed, doing nothing, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of suffocating unease. It wasn’t just that he was straining his ears to listen to the house, for Phil, for anything amiss. It was a sense of dread, of fear, of not being alone. The lights were off, the door shut, Dan’s eyes fixed on the ceiling. He felt like he couldn’t move. He had stayed still for so long it was like he had turned into a statue. How long? Dan wanted to check his phone, but it was in his pocket. He felt as if he moved, something would see him and strike, as if compelled by his movement. What something? Who knows. Dan was frozen with fear. Fear of what? He didn’t know. So he guessed it would be okay to reach down into his pocket and grab his phone. As soon as he moved, it was a relief. He let out a breath de didn’t know he was holding, but unease was still thick in the air.

8:37

That was strange. That must mean Phil had gotten into the shower nearly an hour and a half ago. Oh no. This is bad. A plethora of possibilities rushed through Dan’s mind rapidly as he flung himself off of his bed and onto his feet, sprinting down the hallway to the bathroom door and knocking.

“What?” was the muffled, barely audible reply. The shower was still on. Oh lord. What a relief. He was okay. But why has he been in there for so long?

“Why have you been in there so long?”

“What are you talking about? I just got in!”

“Phil, it’s like 8:40, you’ve been in there for like an hour and a half!”

“What?”

“I said-”

“No, I heard you, what do you mean I’ve been in here an hour and a half? I swear I just got in a few minutes ago!”

“What have you been doing all this time?”

“Uhh, cleaning?”

“Nevermind that, let me in.”

“What?”

“Let me in so I can work on getting my freaking blood out of your clothes!”

“One sec!”

Dan heard the water being shut off, some rustling, and then the door opened, revealing a waterlogged Phil with a towel haphazardly wrapped about his waist. The first thing Dan did was show Phil his lockscreen, time displayed 8:41. “Huh” said Phil, who clearly had accepted his defeat in the argument.

“How could you spend so much time in there without realizing it?”

“I, have no idea. I swear it felt like I just got in a few minutes ago. I don’t even remember spacing out.”

“Alright, well we can figure that out later. Right now we should wash our clothes first.”

“Can’t we just do that in the laundry?”

“Absolutely not, I called Louise earlier to make sure and she said that would just guarantee that it would stain forever. We have to use cold water and hydrogen peroxide.”

“How did you explain that one?”

“Said I cut my finger while cooking and accidentally wiped it on my shirt.”

“Nice one.”

“Yeah well I wasn’t about to tell her that I channeled Lucifer’s waterfall through my hands out of the blue.”

“Didn’t you just burn them?”

“These are not burns Phil.” Dan said this while unwrapping the gauze from his hands, revealing the wound. Phil promptly fainted.

“Fuck.” Dan immediately lunged for Phil, desperately trying to keep him from hitting the floor, possibly hurting his head even more than it already was. Luckily, Dan caught him. His heart was beating so hard he thought it would break. That was not a good idea. 

Luckily, Phil woke up after only a minute or so. Dan had already gotten out the hydrogen peroxide and laid Phil’s shirt and pants on the sink counter. Within a few more minutes they were both vigorously rubbing in cold water and hydrogen peroxide into Phil’s clothes. Dan noticed that Phil’s face was paler than usual (if that was even possible), and Dan’s bandages were getting wet, so he told Phil to let him take care of the rest so that he could unwrap his hands and finish. Once he was satisfied he put both of their wet clothes in the laundry (Dan had already washed his out earlier).

Afterwards both Dan and Phil went to the lounge to watch reruns of the great british bake off. Dan payed more attention to Phil than he did the show. He couldn’t help feeling anxious over this situation, but there was something he forgot.

“Hey, Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“How did you get your head hit so badly? What were you doing?”

“That’s a good question.”

“What does that mean, do you not remember?”

“Well, I remember something but it was really weird and couldn’t have possibly have been it.”

“What do you mean, what was it?”

“I dunno, I mean, one moment i was on my bed on my laptop, and then it was like I was flung by something into the wall.”

“What? No, that’s not what happened. What was it actually, come on.”

“I’m being serious!”

“Yeah right.”

“Look at this then!” Phil grabbed Dan by the wrist and held up his hand. “Do you really think it could be that weird?”

“Okay, okay, say that’s what actually happened, what do you think it could possibly be?”

“No idea.”


	3. Fuego De Los Condedados

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally wrote this in two hours today go me. It's a little shorter than the others but it'll make up!

Well, Dan was about to have an idea. Well, not exactly because atheism tends to get in the way of unbiased observation of these sorts of things. But that will come later. Dan, as it turns out, may not be too difficult of a person to change the mind of.

At that moment both men were sat on the couch thinking. Well, it was less thinking and more just letting the weirdness of the situation sink in. When it did, Dan was filled with a pure flavor of fear that felt akin to being blindfolded and asked to solve a maze. He internally cursed the universe. That wouldn’t prove to be such good luck.

Dan noticed a look of generalized concern on Phil’s face. 

“Hey, look, it’s fine. It doesn’t really matter what happened back then, it’s over now and we just need to focus on you getting better. Yeah?”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Phil’s tone of voice was how Dan felt. Uncertain. Dan ignored both in favor of going to his room to putz around on the internet for a few hours before going to bed. He thought about trying to salvage the rice or making something else to eat, but his appetite pretty much died with the state of his hands.

As Dan was going up the stairs he legitimately froze in fear at the sound of footsteps following behind him. Then, he realized there wasn’t much to be afraid of since Phil crashed into him, causing him to fall up the stairs. And land on his hands.

“Ah, fuck!”

“Oh, shit, sorry. Why did you stop on the stairs?”

“Nothing, I dunno it was my fault.”

“Are you ok?”

“Not really, but it’s fine.”

Dan felt Phil get up from their uncomfortable position behind him and Dan kept walking up the stairs and went straight into his room without saying anything. Jesus. He thought. The hell is wrong with me. 

“I’ll check up on you in a little while.”

“I’ll be okay, Dan.”

“I know.”

Dan jumped firmly onto his bed. Satisfaction was followed by unease. The room felt too quiet, like there should be some sort of noise. Like the air conditioning, or the pipes, or just something. But instead it was like the house was taunting him with silence to let his unease fester in its natural habitat. Silence.

So, naturally, he’d watch youtube until he was too exhausted to keep his eyes open to distract himself from the feeling of imminent doom. He knows how to handle this, it’s not like he hasn’t been faced with this issue before. It’ll be fine.

It’ll be fine.

Dan lied sideways on his bed for about an hour before getting too restless and deciding to go to Phil’s room to see how he was doing. As he shut his laptop he thought to himself that maybe he should get his hands checked out, but they felt fine at the moment so he’d just put it off for awhile. He checked his phone. 10:16. Phil was probably napping, since he couldn’t really use the internet or read. Dan gathered ibuprofen and a glass of water from the kitchen and went up to Phil’s room. Dan knocked twice, just in case, before pushing the door open with his hip and closing it with his foot behind him.

Just as he thought, Phil was already sleeping, but the lights were still on. Dan set the water and pills on the dresser next to Phil’s bed. 

“Hey, wake up.” Dan shook Phil’s shoulder lightly. Phil made a hmph sound and blinked his eyes open. Immediately after he winced and pressed his face into his pillow.

“Too bright.”

“You were the one who left the lights on buddy.”

“Please turn them off.”

“Okay.” Dan turned the lights off and sat on Phil’s bed. But not on the end or anything, he went full cross legged in the middle of the bed in the space Phil’s bent legs left to emphasize serious business. It wasn’t really that serious though, just checking up, but Dan was a little nervous and didn’t want to leave his ankles exposed to the underside of the bed where he could get bitten by a spider. Or something. 

Phil slowly sat up and looked at Dan, not saying anything. Dan broke the silence.

“Would you like some ibuprofen?”

“Yes please.” Dan leaned over Phil to get the water and pills, and handed both to him. Phil took them and put the remaining water back on the dresser.

“You doing okay?” Dan asked when he was done. 

“Yeah, are you?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” They sat in silence for a bit.

“Are you sure?” Phil wasn’t going to fall for it this time.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Dan felt so childish. Like he was a five year old who had a nightmare going to sleep with his parents. Nevertheless, Phil lifted up the blanket in response so Dan could get in. At least he had to change earlier so he didn’t have to sleep in his jeans, because it’d be pretty awkward if Dan asked that and then said he had to go and get sweatpants or something. 

It’s been a little while since they’ve done this, and it was out of necessity. But it didn’t feel weird. It kind of just felt like sleeping in your parent’s bed after a nightmare. Except Phil wasn’t Dan’s mum, and Dan wasn’t Phil’s son and there was no nightmare. Well, if you weren’t counting the kind of day they had. 

Dan wasn’t used to going to bed this early, and Phil was looking like he was ready to fall right back asleep.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Phil whispered into the small space between them. 

“I wouldn’t know what to say.”

“Oh come on.”

“I’m serious, it’s all too weird.”

“Well, how are you feeling about it.”

“I dunno.”

“Dan.”

“I’m scared.”

“Me too.” Phil did what Dan really wanted to do and pulled Dan’s body to his as a subconscious attempt at safety, a conscious attempt at comfort. Dan gripped the man like a koala. He was past caring.

“I’m just at a loss right now.” Dan whispered carefully.

“I have an idea.”

“What do you mean.”

“Demons.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, they aren’t real.”

“Okay, but let’s pretend they are for a minute. It would make sense. Ever since we moved into this house it’s been weird. Things falling over, weird noises. Weird vibes.”

“Those things don’t always mean demons.”

“They could, and now with this? They definitely could.”

“These are the kinds of things we should be looking to rule out. It’s probably just a coincidence.”

“What about your hands?”

“Okay, I can’t really explain that, I’m still processing the fact that I literally have the stigmata so, yeah. I didn’t even know this was a thing.”

“Have you never seen the pictures?”

“Pictures?”

“Yeah, there’s this one, where there’s this woman with her arms crossed over her chest looking really angry with red holes in her hands.”

“Yikes.”

“I felt intimidated by that image.” They both chuckled a little. The mood wasn’t too tense anymore. Sleep took the both of them, and the silence swallowed the house once more.

***

“What the fuck?” Dan woke up the next morning feeling a bit odd, and then realizing why. Phil sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes.

“Dan, are you okay?”

“Phil, look!”

“What the fuck?”


	4. who moved the bed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been a long time. I'm very sorry for not uploading for three months. I had most of this chapter finished months ago. Updates will be more frequent from now on promise ^w^

Phil felt like shit. Like he’d woken up at 5 am and was ready to just turn over and go back to sleep. But he knew it was morning because of the offensive light from the window, and he knew there was something amiss when what woke him up was Dan shouting “What the fuck?”.

Well he found out what the fuck was when he looked around him and realized that the bed was on the complete other side of the room, turned diagonally. 

After sharing the same exclamation, the two men accused each other of moving the bed until Phil whipped out his theory once again.

“This is some pretty demonic shit Dan. Think about it.” Phil was trying to sound smart but he only managed to sound a little drunk and a lot tired.

“Oh you’re just saying that because you’re trying to fuck with me.”

“I can barely walk without hugging a wall, what makes you think I can push an entire bed with you on it to the other side of the room, and without waking you up.” Phil had a point, and he knew Dan knew it.

“Oh, fuck this!” Dan made a face. “I’m going to move it back and then make some coffee and forget about it.”

“What time is it?”

“Let me check.” Dan checked his phone. “Okay nope it’s 6:33 I’m just going to move the bed back and go back to sleep.”

Dan pushed the bed back to it’s original position with Phil still on it. He was obviously having a hard time and struggling but Phil couldn’t be bothered. He was asleep before Dan was even finished.

***

Dan’s mind was in disarray. No way could this be real. It had to be some oddly vivid dream. But this kind of self aware dream questioning doesn’t usually happen so he knew it wasn’t. He wished it was. Phil ended up falling asleep before Dan was even finished moving the bed back in place. He felt kind of bad. Phil was having a really hard time and Dan had blamed this bed thing on him without thinking twice about it. After he thought of both possibilities, he concluded both were insane. But he couldn’t help but feel like maybe Phil was right.

For a second Dan considered going back to his room. But he wasn’t going to do that. He was too shaken up to actually be alone, no way. So he just climbed back into Phil’s bed and fell asleep.

***

The first thing Phil experienced upon waking up was the presence of something on his face. He didn’t have to wonder for very long because as soon as he opened an eye he realized it was Dan’s arm. Dan was still asleep. Phil carefully removed Dan’s arm from his face trying not to wake him up. He failed.

Dan made a sort of snuffling noise from beside him.

“Hey.” Dan’s voice was groggy with sleep.

“What time is it?”

“It’s, hold on.” Dan fished his phone out from his pocket. “Oh my god.”

“What?”

“It’s 5 in the evening.”

“Oh”

“We should get up.”

“No”

“What?”

“I’m tired and I had a weird dream and I need you to support me.”

“What’d you dream about?”

“Well, at first, it was all blue and geometrically, and then this woman with brown hair and no face appears, and she tells me ‘you are from arcturus’, in this strange non voice voice. And even though the woman didn’t look like her, I felt like it was my nan.”

“Well, it’s just a dream.”

“Yeah, I guess. Feels like it could be more though.”

“Dreams don’t mean anything Phil. It is what it is, a dream.”

Phil decided to drop it. But he couldn’t stop thinking about the dream. What was Arcturus? Could it really be his nan? He stewed in his own pondering for a bit until he felt rustling from beside him and saw Dan get up. 

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to go order take out.”

 

“What’re you getting?” Phil’s voice was coming out slurred and sloppy, clearly struggling.

“Pizza. What do you want on it?”

Phil noticed how Dan looked in his doorway. It was dark, and he was dark. He couldn’t make out entirely his features, but all the same they looked a bit different, a bit strange. “Umm” He didn’t know what he wanted. “You decide.” 

“Okay”

Dan disappeared down the hallway. Phil closed his eyes again. He wasn’t sleepy, but his body felt tired. He was very hungry. Phil wanted to go downstairs to be with his friend, so he stood up. Apparently a bad idea. He felt like he was on rollerskates, his vision turned into gold and purple haze, and the lightheaded feeling caused him to sit back down again. After taking a few deep breaths. He tried again. This time it wasn’t so bad, but he still had sea legs. Phil walked down to the lounge hugging the wall all the way. Dan was on the phone. Phil didn’t bother to pay attention to what he was saying.

While before he wouldn’t be able to help but listen to everything people said, he could easily tune out everything. Which is why he didn’t hear Dan saying his name.

“Phil!” Dan lightly shook Phil’s shoulder.

“Hfmphgh”

“Forty five minutes ‘till pizza time.” 

“Nice.”

A silence fell over the room. As they usually do, but both men knew that there was something a little odd. Dan looked up to the side as if he were listening, waiting. For what, he didn’t know. Phil was in a mind cloud, and still faintly perceived Dan’s facial expression and the oddity of the atmosphere.

The strange feeling fled as soon as there was the sound of a book falling off the shelf, and Dan winced not a moment after. Phil whipped his head around to first look to the sound, which was a book, fallen open, and then to Dan who was hopelessly staring at his hands as he hissed in pain.

“Oh not fucking again!” Dan squealed, in his usual voice of exasperation, at his unusually bloody hands.

Phil couldn’t think of what to say. “Whoops, how will you eat pizza like that?” He guessed he didn’t need to after that came out. It wasn't until after he said it that he realized maybe he shouldn’t have. Dan gave Phil the “are you joking” look and Phil laughed. And laughed. And didn’t stop. It was full on side hurting double over laughing and he wasn’t even smiling anymore, it wasn’t funny anymore. Phil lay down on his side on the couch and continued to laugh and laugh until it wasn’t laughing anymore but hyperventilating. 

“Woah woah” Dan made a move to put his hands on Phil’s shoulder but retracted. At this point Phil was just wheezing. About twenty minutes had gone by this time.

“Do you want to watch tv?” Phil couldn't answer. Dan turned it on anyway. Some sitcom no one cared about was playing. That’s okay. Phil regained his breath.

“Are you ok?” Dan asked tentatively. 

“Ha ha, yeah I’m fine. That was weird.”

“Okay.” They sat watching the telly. Dan was watching Phil more and he could tell.

There was a knock on the door.


	5. Can't hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait!... again, and I'm also sorry for the short chapter but trust me there's a longer one coming soon I promise.

Dan had ordered a meat lover’s pizza. Phil was so excited to dig in, but when he brought a slice to his mouth, something made him feel sick. He put it down. 

“What’s wrong?” Dan asked, with a mouthful of pizza.

“I don’t know.” Phil was quite confused. He was so hungry a moment ago, but then all he could do was stare at the pizza longingly and disgustedly. He could feel laughter from behind him. It’s hard to explain. He could imagine a smiling face with thousands of sharp needle teeth grinning at his plight. Suddenly Phil was angry.

“God damn it.” Phil mutered. He felt another snicker.

 

“What?” Dan clearly .

“I can’t read, I can’t use my phone, I can’t go online, and now I can’t even eat this stupid pizza.”

“Why not?”

“I tried but I just feel sick. Maybe it’s because of my concussion, but I felt just fine before I tried to eat. Feels like something’s laughing at me.”

“Who’s laughing at you?”

“I- no one.”

“Okay.” 

***

Dan was growing more concerned for Phil’s mental state by the minute. He thought that maybe Phil was going a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs, but then he felt it too. Like, the concept of someone laughing, as if it were him, but strained. Dan was trying his best to credit it to an overactive imagination. 

“Do you want that?” Dan asked, looking at Phil who was frowning at his pizza like a toddler.

“No.” That was all Dan needed to reach out and take it. He thought for a moment.

“Do you want me to find you something?” Phil nodded.

Dan got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen, and looked in the fridge. Nothing too interesting.

“Umm, we have carrots?” No answer. Dan decided to get them from the fridge anyway. He found Phil sitting on the floor looking out the window, it was raining. 

“Things don’t feel normal anymore.” His voice was quiet, and shaky, but so subtly sure. “Something is different. It feels wrong.”

Dan was sure he knew what this was about. “It’s just an anxiety feeling, it’ll go away.”

Phil nodded, but Dan knew he didn’t agree. 

“I can’t help but feel like I’ve been pretending to be something else now, like I didn’t realize I was something besides what I always thought I was- or didn’t think I was, because I never did think about it.” Dan’s hands ached.

“Phil, what do you mean?” 

“I’m not really from here like others are. And you aren’t either.” Dan was confused, and a little afraid, but also felt like he somehow knew what Phil meant. He didn’t want to believe it.

“Of course you- of course we are. What are you talking about.” He knew and he didn’t want to. He googled what happened to his hands, and he didn’t want to believe it. They were getting sorer, and then it was searing.

“You know.” Phil was so quiet, his words barely a whisper, and so determined. Dan shook his head, tears forming in his eyes. Why was he being so emotional? Maybe it was because of his hands, or his confusion. Maybe it was because he couldn’t hide from what he knew was true anymore.

“Dan, I’m a starseed, I’m from arcturus.”

“Oh come on-”

“And you’re an angel.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this isn't as long as I was planning but I thought this was a good place to end it. I think I'm gaining a little more direction with this story. I am busy with school, but I don't really do the work so if the updates are too spotty it's because I'm lazy and I apologize in advance, I am tired all the time. Thank you for your patience.

Dan was… not expecting that. He read about the stigmata, chosen by jesus and all that, but this had never crossed his mind. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything. All of these years of believing, well not believing in all of this, was relly making this difficult. Namely because he felt like his world was turned upside down and his head was spinning. He couldn’t bring himself to think of himself that way. And Phil, what did he mean? 

“Phil?”

“Mm.”

“What’s a starseed?”

“People born as humans but originally from other planets or galaxies.”

“Like, the whole past lives thing?”

“Yeah, it’s got to do with that but it’s not all.”

“Right.” Dan took a pause to think. “How do you know all of this?”

“I heard about it online years ago, but then I had that dream, and I’ve been hearing a voice, my giude.” Dan’s first instict was to call bullshit, but he decided to be patient. He couldn’t say it was too unbelievable.

“And so, what about this guide?” Dan really didn’t know where to start.

“An angel, like you but different. A different vibration, but that may just be because you are incarnated. Their name is Anaiz.” Dan nodded. 

“And, what do they sound like, how do you hear it?”

“It’s almost a voice, like singing. Sounds a little bit like birdsong and a whale’s song. It’s beautiful. But it’s less of hearing and more of feeling. It’s hard to explain.”

“Hm.” Dan thought for a moment. “Did Anaiz tell you I was, y’know-”

“Yes.”

“Why is all of this coming up now?”

“Because we’re in trouble.”

“How?”

“Not how, who.” Dan was about to ask who but before he got the chance there was a sound of heavy footprints coming from the stairs.

“Them.” Phil whispered. Dan was absolutely frozen. What the hell was Phil talking about? Who was here? But he was much more afraid of this than he could be of people, this was much too sinister. But he decided to man up, go to the kitchen, get a big ass knife, and go see what the fuck was up. 

He stood and the steps grew louder. He moved quickly to the kitchen and they grew louder still. As soon as he grabbed a hold of the knife, they sounded like they were right behind him. And then, nothing. Sweat was beading on his forehead, all of the color drained from his face. His knuckles were white from holding on, but he felt as if it would slip out of the clamminess of his hands. He swallowed. His eyes were scrunched shut, but he forced them to open. He took one last inhale, held it, and turned around.

Nothing.

Dan walked over to look in the other room, and then to the stairs. He didn’t see anything amiss. Just as he was turning to walk away, he was tumbling down the stairs like a ragdoll thrown by an angry child.

“Dan!” Phil shouted from the living room, followed by fast footsteps. The sound made Dan cringe more than he already was. Dan’s eyes were shut and his face was drawn up into a grimace. He couldn’t say anything, the wind had been knocked out of him. He felt Phil’s hands on his shoulders and his face. They were so cold.

Dan finally gathered enough breath to go from wheezing to real breating. He muttered, “I beleive it now, I believe all of it.” Dan’s eyes cracked open. He could see that Phil was close to tears. Phil pulled Dan close, gripping him tightly and sat down. Dan’s body lay limp for a moment, and then he raised a hand to Phil’s shoulder, letting him know that his gesture wasn’t unwelcome. He needed it. 

After many moments, Dan felt Phil rub his back in wide circles, and it was then he noticed that he had started crying. He sniffled once and said, “we need to leave.” 

“Okay.” Phil said. “Let’s go.”

***

The next morning Dan woke up in Phil’s bed again, but Phil wasn’t there. Soft light was coming in through the curtains, and Dan could hear rain. It was nice. The he heard some rustling from the other side of the room, and looked over to see Phil there. He was packing a small suitcase.

“Phil, what are you doing?” Phil looked over, with a calm expression on his face.

“We’re going to take a little trip.” He smiled.

“Are you really sure?”

“Why not? It was your idea. Besides, I think we can use some time away to figure this out.” He was right.

“You’re right.” He lay back down, enjoying how comfy he felt under the covers, feeling too lazy to get up and do anything. “Where are we going?”

“Anywhere you want.”

“Hmm.” Dan really didn’t think about this. He had no idea where to go. “How about, we just take a road trip. Find out when we get there.”

“Sounds good to me.” Phil zipped up his little suitcase and walked over to the bed. He then poked Dan in the nose. Dan squinted.

“Time to get up.” 

“Ok.”


End file.
